Pride Guide 2000 GAY PEO

On 'internal' criticism: Taking a higher ground

by Warren J. Blumenfeld

Scan the psychological literature and you will find numerous case studies of abused children who grow to become child abusers, and bullied, tormented children who eventually become tormentors themselves. On the other hand, other studies document such children who eventually stop the cycle of abuse as adults-some who work to make the world a safer place physically and psychologically for everyone.

How many times have we been, and continue to be, harassed and assaulted by bullies on the schoolyard, scorned and reviled by those who would roll back the gains we have made over the years?

I cannot help but reflect, therefore, on the psychological studies when I read some of the letters printed in our lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community and national publications, as well as the messages on our internet chat rooms, web sites, and email lists in which writers engage in personal attacks on other LGBT people and our allies with whom they disagree. It is as though these writers forget that there are actual human beings on the other end.

When reading these personal attacks on "our own," I have to ask myself: Have some of us taken on the characteristics of our abusers by perpetuating the abuse? And what role does internalized oppression play in this equation?

I have talked with a number of our national and local LGBT leaders who have uniformly related to me that they have never been attacked in print as viciously by opponents from outside our communities as they have been by people from within our communities. It appears that we are virtually "eating our own.”

The theocratic and political right loudly warns of a so-called “gay agenda" that we are supposedly attempting to impose in the schools, in the houses of worship, in the halls

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of Congress, and in the homes of “unsuspecting" citizens throughout this land.

Though there may be some basic issues on which most of us agree, in actuality, we comprise such a diverse community (actually many communities)—people with disparate views, social identities, political and religious affiliations, and people who are at

I hope we can radically transform the so-called real world—for it is only

real as long as we collude and buy into it as it is.

all degrees of "outness”—that there is no possible way that we could ever propose and work toward a unified "agenda." Quite simply, I believe that sexual and gender identity alone are insufficient to link a community and, by extension, an entire movement. And this is possibly how it should be.

Of course, we certainly can and should challenge one another when we disagree on views and actions. If indeed it is true, as the old saying goes, that the fish is the last to see the water because it is so pervasive, then from our vantage points at the margins, we have a special opportunity, indeed a responsibility, to serve as social commentators and critics. We have a responsibility to expose and highlight the wide-scale inequities, of all kinds, that dampen and saturate our environment, and to challenge the culture (and ourselves) to move forever forward and to grow.

We have crossed a critical line, however, when we enter into character assassination, insinuation and innuendo, name-calling, stereotyping, defamation, and calling into question one another's motives for the opinions

we hold. It matters not if it is people within our own communities, or even if it is Laura Schlessinger, Pat Robertson, the president of our local school board, or the neighbor next door. We don't have to employ the tactics or use the language of those we oppose. For as Audre Lorde reminded us: "The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house."

In my years working at the old Gay Community News in Boston, we had a written policy of not printing letters that personally attack or defame any individual. I ask that each of our community and national publications that do not currently include such a policy follow suit.

To be completely honest, however, I must acknowledge that, in hindsight, I realize that I have

not always followed my own suggestions, for I truly regret some of the words I have used and actions I have taken. I understand full well how it feels when others challenge my core values, my beliefs, my very being. At such times, it is difficult not to respond in kind.

I am sure there are those who would tell me, "Oh why don't you simply grow up and join the real world?" My response is that I hope we can radically transform the so-called real world-for it is only real as long as we collude and buy into it as it is. The strategy I propose certainly will not entirely eliminate the venomous assaults lodged against us by those with whom we disagree, but it will undoubtedly help to maintain our sense of

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dignity and our integrity. We can, therefore, take a higher ground.

A central tenet of Jewish tradition is Tikkun Olam, meaning the transformation, healing, and repairing of the world so that it becomes a more just, peaceful, nurturing, and perfect place.

I ask us, then, to join and go out into our lives, and work for Tikkun Olam.

Let the abuse stop here.

Warren J. Blumenfeld is editor of the International Journal of Sexuality and Gender Studies, editor of Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price, and Co-Author with Diane Raymond of Looking at Gay and Lesbian Life.

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